tamed shit

This is like my personal notes, like i dont even care if people do see this but im not sure that you all really that care about my life.  So recently i've been thinking a lot, that i have to be independent and have to be succeed, so i need to graduate just good and learn so damn hard!! I need to produce my own money, be fricking rich, live with it, charity half of my money away, and grow up with animals (such as cats, dogs, hamsters, birds, fishes, etc) and family (dad mom brothers) . Sounds weird, but that's like my life-goal.  Because i cant see myself dating with someone and live with them? I've been single my wholeeee life (not really tho? Lol), and recently there is no one that catches my eyes (/heart?) and there is no one that hitting me.  AND IT MAKES ME WONDER  What's so wrong about me?  What on EARTH IS SO WRROOONG ABOUT MEH  wHY IS NOBODY GIVING ME SIGN THAT THEY LIKE ME OR SUCH WHAT IS SO DAMN WRONG WITH ME MA Inner me: Okay; lem...

I used to dream to be a singer, growing up, i gave it up.  I cant adulting well, but letting go of my dream might be the most adulting thing i do.  I love to sing, i really want to work with music, but it's just... it seems impossible, so i wake myself up and told myself to find a real dream--not that being a singer is unreal--it's just i saw some real talents and it seems to me that i'm a rotten potato. Anyway, i fought a lot last year. I always wanted to travel all over the world, since i like to learn new languages and i like to learn their cultures, so i wanted to go to the Hub. Internasional major, tho my dad opposed it. I fought my weak ass to study so that i got accapted, but fORTUNATELY i wasnt accapted. Why is it fortunate? Because i know now that if i got accapted, i would struggle a lot because i hate dealing with datas. If just i did as my dad told me.  my whole year was just me finding my own-self. Was a tough year, and also a happy year(?)--i woke up ...

so my english lecturer told us that if you write a lot, that's good. So guess i'm going to try a bit of it? I dated twice when i was in SMP (junior high school), and have never been dating since (lol yes, it's been more than 5 years). So how could i do that?  I think i reached my puberty when i was still in smp, i had crushes and i did things i wouldnt do right now. Stupid things. In high school, i had a crush but unfortunately it wasnt going well, couldnt even start, and since i dont have any.....  oh anyway, aND THIS BLOG AND MY OTHER BLOG ARE CRINGEY AND ALAY. WHY. I CANT TAKE THIS. I WANT TO DELETE THAESE BLOGS BUT WHERE'S THE FUN IN IT SO BARE WITH ME OKAY GUYS A LITTLE BIT ALAY WONT HURT. AND OH THE GRAMMAR HURTS!!! IM NO EXPERT, STILL BAD AT IT, BUT BRUH IT WAS A MESS Okay let's back at it again. I dont know want to memorize these things but since im practising myself to write, let's give it a shot: My first boyfriend: (cringey i kno...